Almost everyone has done it at some point in their lives.
You’re conversing, arguing, or even having sex with a partner when you say the wrong name by accident.
It’s possible that your ex’s name was mentioned during the awful incident.
We just witnessed this on Love Island, when Gemma Owen accidentally called Luca Bish by her ex’s name (Jacques) as he was giving her a massage.
So don’t worry, you’re not alone.
‘Calling someone the wrong name is very common and can happen between individuals who even feel they have a deep connection, such as a romantic partner,’ says relationship expert and sexologist Ness Cooper.
‘It can happen even during intimate moments such as sex. It’s nothing to worry about and it’s fairly common for many couples to experience at some point during their relationship.’
So the embarrassing moment has occurred — what do you do now?
How do you play down the circumstance and explain why it isn’t a big deal?
Everything to consider doing has been presented by experts below.
Blame science
According to Hannah Martin, a psychologist and the founder of Talented Ladies Club, it’s not your fault at all — it’s natural biology.
As a result, science may always be blamed.
She says that ‘According to a study led by Duke University professor David Rubin, we all “group” people in our brains based on our relationships with them. It’s why we sometimes call teachers “mum” when we are at school – they are grouped as people in a position of authority and responsibility over us.
‘And while your current partner may not like the idea of being grouped with an ex, it makes sense as they are both your significant others.
‘What it absolutely does not mean is that you are thinking of your ex, or that you still harbour any feelings for them.
‘It’s simply the wiring of your brain having a misfire at that moment and unconsciously picking the wrong name from the right “group.”’
A simple way out.
Don’t ignore it
According to Jade Thomas, a BACP registered psychotherapist at Private Therapy Clinic, it is always best to address the elephant in the room — rather than allowing unpleasantness to grow.
She explains, ‘Obviously, a slip of the tongue when it comes to mentioning an ex’s name by mistake can cause pangs of jealousy which, if left undiscussed and unexamined, can have a significantly negative impact on the relationship.’
So, even if you laugh about it, admit that it was an accident and don’t pretend it didn’t happen.
Ness also mentions that if you’ve dated people with similar names (such Joe, James, John, Jack…), this may be typical.
She continues that ‘As long as you both recognise each other as individuals and that you’re dating each other for who you both personally are, that’s important.’
Reassure your partner
After you’ve recognized it, Ness says the next step is to reassure your partner.
‘While some people may think that being called an ex’s name is a sign they still may want to be with an ex, it’s rarely the case and often it’s just association and memory recall of strong emotions and feelings,’ she said.
‘But reassurance is important for some after experiencing being called the wrong name.’
As a result, it’s important to figure out what works to reassure your spouse and to listen to any concerns they may have.
‘Using empathy is helpful, like saying “I understand why you feel hurt after I accidentally called you by another name, I would feel the same way, but please understand I didn’t intend to hurt you,” She adds.
‘The tone of voice can be important and offering eye contact, as this helps make them aware that you’re present with them and not the person you accidentally called them.
‘Understand that most people will have a similar error at some point in their lives, whether that’s to an intimate partner, child, friend, or pet. It happens to us all.’