With no offense intended to JLo, Jennifer Coolidge is unquestionably the best aspect of Shotgun Wedding. And the new action-comedy, which began streaming today on Amazon Prime Video, gave audiences a sight I believe we’ve all been waiting for: Jennifer Coolidge with a freaking machine gun. Even though 2023 is only 27 days old, it has been a difficult year. And truthfully? We have earned this.
Shotgun Wedding, directed by Jason Moore and written by Mark Hammer, starring Jennifer Lopez and Josh Duhamel as a couple whose destination wedding in the Philippines is held captive by pirates. Darcy and Tom manage to escape, but the remainder of the wedding party is detained at gunpoint in the resort’s opulent infinity pool. This includes Tom’s nerdy, well-intentioned Midwestern mother, Carol, who was portrayed by the one and only Jennifer Coolidge.
Coolidge is, as one might guess, the funniest abduction victim ever. When the terrifying masked man with a pistol screams the name of the wealthy father of the bride, she kindly informs him, “Robert, they’re looking for you.” When a pirate affixes name tags to each hostage, she politely requests that hers be pinned to the center of her frock, as opposed to the side. And when Darcy and Tom decide to simulate their wedding in the midst of this hostage crisis as part of an intricate escape plan, she sings Edwin McCain’s 1997 hit “I’ll Be.” She basically steals every scene she is in.
But the single best sequence in the film occurs shortly after that rousing singing of “I’ll Be,” when the bridal party turns the tables on the pirates and seizes control of the situation. One of the kidnappers drops his gun and flees as Lopez threatens them with a grenade. Coolidge recognizes her chance. She seizes the weapon before experiencing her Molly Weasely moment.
She yells, “Nobody messes with my family!” before unleashing a torrent of gunfire, firing round after round from the automatic rifle. Is it the best course of action to open fire on a crowd comprised primarily of family and friends? Unlikely, but who cares? Jennifer Coolidge is screaming and shooting a machine gun as if she were the Terminator!
God bless director Jason Moore and screenwriter Mark Hammer, who saw a good chance in casting Jennifer Coolidge in an action film and did not let it pass them by. And heaven bless Coolidge, who handles the machine pistol as if she were a former Marine. We have identified the ideal actor to co-star alongside Melissa McCarthy in Spy 2; please call Paul Feig.
Who do I need to contact in order to give Jennifer Coolidge a sword?
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