My husband dislikes our son’s wife and her parents

My husband and I moved closer to our son, daughter-in-law, and grandson to be a part of their lives. However, my husband dislikes our daughter-in-law’s parents and refuses to spend holidays or attend activities where both sets of parents will be present. I feel sad and do not know what to do. I do not have any issues with the other parents, and I feel I should be able to attend my grandson’s activities without him.

My husband’s feelings towards our daughter-in-law’s parents are his problem and not mine. I am hesitant to speak up about his dislike for fear of causing hurt feelings, especially for my daughter-in-law whom I love very much. Neither our son nor our daughter-in-law knows about his dislike.

Abby, please advise on what I should do.

Sincerely, Mom in the Middle

Dear Mom in the Middle,

Family relationships can be complex and sometimes challenging. Although it would be ideal if your husband could make an effort to control his distaste and be included in more gatherings, he has made it clear that he does not want to attend events where both sets of parents will be present.

You can continue to visit your son, daughter-in-law, and in-laws when the opportunity arises, and let your husband make excuses for his absence. If your son or daughter-in-law asks why your husband is absent so often, you can tell them to ask him directly.

Remember that you have the right to attend your grandson’s activities and events without your husband. It is his decision to miss out on family time, not yours.

Sincerely, Abby